1. You still haven’t forgiven the 1998 Chicago Bulls for trading Scottie Pippen.
2. You still have a Michael Jordan “Wingspan” poster in your room.
3. You sent a “Get Well Soon” card to Kobe Bryant.
4. You’ve angrily thrown more jerseys into the snow than this Knicks fan.
5. You own a starter jacket with every NBA team’s patch on it.
6. You have a fantasy Dream Team league every Olympics.
7. Dennis Rodman might be a crazy North Korean sympathizer now, but he’ll always be “The Worm” to you.
8. You keep saying “look out for Anthony Davis!” even when New Orleans isn’t playing.
9. When you’re not watching basketball, you’re simulating a whole season in “NBA2k14.”
10. This song makes you want to have passionate sex.