10 Signs You Take The NBA Way Too Seriously

1. You still haven’t forgiven the 1998 Chicago Bulls for trading Scottie Pippen.

2. You still have a Michael Jordan “Wingspan” poster in your room.

3. You sent a “Get Well Soon” card to Kobe Bryant.

4. You’ve angrily thrown more jerseys into the snow than this Knicks fan.

5. You own a starter jacket with every NBA team’s patch on it.

6. You have a fantasy Dream Team league every Olympics.

7. Dennis Rodman might be a crazy North Korean sympathizer now, but he’ll always be “The Worm” to you.

8. You keep saying “look out for Anthony Davis!” even when New Orleans isn’t playing.

9. When you’re not watching basketball, you’re simulating a whole season in “NBA2k14.”

10. This song makes you want to have passionate sex.

Why Chris Distefano Needs To Be In NBA All-Star Celebrity Game

+ Started four years at the St. Joseph’s College

+ Played all five positions

+ Averaged 15.4 points per game over his four-year collegiate career

+ Scored 1,865 career points and set school record (no other player has come within 500 points of that)

+ Named USCAA All American his junior and senior years

+ Played professionally in Europe after graduating

Every basketball fan knows the box score only tells half the story. Here are Distefano’s “intangibles” that make him an invaluable celebrity all star teammate:

+ Holds the St. Joseph’s record for Most Games Benched For Not Bringing His Shorts (making his career stats even more impressive)

+ Voted Most Stylish by his teammates for his unique home and away jersey/shorts combinations

+ Holds the school record for Most Toilets Clogged Before Games

+ Watched his father be thrown out of a record 48 games in a row (passion for basketball is in Chris’s blood)

+ Frequently missed throwing paper cups into the garbage after scoring over 20 points (making his teammates comfortable around him despite his greatness)

+ Played against many USCAA teams that featured female players (he’s prepared to face WNBA players on the opposing team)

+ Once got suspended for an entire half because he ran onto the court during a regulation USCAA Woman’s Volleyball game and spiked the ball (he’s a beast at any sport)

+ Has been training for this game with the help of fellow comedian Artie Lange.

If you want Chris to play in this year’s game, just start tweeting #PutChrissyDInTheGame to @NBA and @NBAAllStar now.

(Source: guycodeblog.mtv.com)

Chris Distefano’s pickup basketball team (featuring “Jersey Shore” native Vinny Guadagnino) has more slammed d*cks than slam dunks.

When you start a game of pickup basketball, you’re always a little unsure of what kind of guys you’re going to play against. Who’s the best player? Is it you? Can the tall guy actually play? There’s a lot of uncertainty involved.

The guys at Dude Perfect have put together this video of almost every type pickup basketball player. Can you think of any more?