1. A Bucket Of Ashes
Definitely avoid vomiting into a bucket of fireplace ashes. The ashes will billow into your face, mid-puke, and since you’re near a blazing hearth, you could potentially burst into flames and be forced to run out of the room on fire, like a stuntman.
2. Christmas Tree Stand
It ruins Christmas if everybody has to watch you kneel on the tree skirt and barf among the branches and sap. “Daddy, why’s the tree shaking and groaning?!” “Oh, that’s just cousin Mark evacuating the entire contents of his stomach onto your Little Tikes Activity Garden.”
3. The Stockings
The stockings have been hung from the chimney with care, which means you need to show a little more respect than to use them as barf receptacles. There are tons of valuable gifts in there, like dental floss, and taffy, and parachute men.
No matter what, you must resist the temptation to accost neighborhood carolers and barf into their hats, no matter how much they deserve it. (Note: There is nothing wrong, however, with stealing some of their sheet music for use as toilet paper.)